Spring arrived
or so I decided
today.
The dark fog
hovering in my head
I willed away.
At least for now
the sun shines
and the air is clear –
the cold awakens thoughts
and silences
the nightmares –
The snow of yesterday
already melted,
disappeared
it took with it all traces
of our movements there –
the sludge seeps through my shoes,
no longer waterproof.
It’s good,
it helps me stay awake –
I hung away my winter coat
this morning
since I choose
not to allow the winter to go on –
and if the winter disagrees
so be it –
I’d rather catch a cold
than stay inside
My feet are freezing
but it helps me breathe –
it helps maintaining focus,
not to feel
and I will walk today
and stay outside
and try to think
and I won’t sleep until
the thinking
has been done
Spring arrived today
because I need it now –
I cannot wait two weeks
for clarity of mind.
I’ll air out my brain
and will the darkness away
and see what I can find –
perhaps some energy
that I thought lost –
perhaps a way to will away
the nightmares of the past –
perhaps a flower sprouting
in a pool of half-thawed
ice-encrusted mud –
perhaps to catch a cold –
that would be something new to think about –
perhaps I could –
perhaps a beam of sun
that cannot yet be felt –
perhaps a stray thought
that could help me write a poem
again –
perhaps some lungfuls of the air
might help me sleep
a healthy sleep
with no nightmares –
—
My feet have led me
out into the park
where they sink
into the thawing soil –
the earth seemingly knows
that I need to feel grounded –
With feet like icicles
I proceed
ahead –
the Spring of my making,
right here and now,
a stuttering breath –
an interlude between darkness
and darkness –
light, cold and wet –
alive –