New Poem: “delayed outburst results in -“

i understand
an outburst from me
must seem unfair to you –
it’s like training a cat
not to pee on the floor,
if it happens long after
it happened
the cat gets mad at you
and learns nothing at all –
perhaps i should’ve said
how i feel
when i actually felt it
and everything was real
instead of waiting
ten years and boil over
when you least expect it –
but that’s what happened
and that’s what happens –
i kept it in and kept quiet
for too long
out of mistaken family feeling
that now feel wasted –
perhaps because it was –
so i might as well waste it
or what’s left of it
by not apologizing
for not doing wrong
but simply voicing my feelings
after too long –
if you can’t or won’t understand
it proves that you never knew me –
which is exactly what
i protested against –
you’ve proven it to me –
blame me all you want,
the original fault was with you
although you’ll never see it
no matter what i do –

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